Eyes That Match His Hair

This is just a short poem I wrote earlier today on the bus (we had a school trip- we went to the beach!), so it isn't very good. I thought I'd show it to you anyway, because I think I should include more of my own stories and poems on my blog, even though (unlike SOME of you), I am absolutely RUBBISH at poetry..

Thought it'd fit in with the theme(:

The Boy With Eyes That Match His Hair

I talked nonsense, nervous
by the fact that we were talking, that
the boy with eyes that match his hair, was
talking with me.
He kept staring at me, pulling
funny faces, trying
to make me laugh.
I did laugh, I laughed a lot, but
then I completely ruined the moment,
"Your eyes match your hair."
Why did I say that?
I said I didn't know why I said it, and
he turned away, only
to turn back again, to
make me laugh.
It sounds nice when I put it like that, but
he'd never actually like me.
He's the confident kind,
Totally out of my league.
And besides, his
ex-girlfriend Selena still has hold of him, though
she's dating Louis.
I like him.
I think.
But it would never work out.
He'd never like me.
He has brown eyes,
eyes that match his hair.
I think I'm in love, with
a boy that will never love me.
Or if he does, I'm
afraid he'll break my heart, because
I know that's what boys do.
I know from experience.
And I know from experience, that
boys with eyes that match their hair, will
never date someone like me.
Will never,
ditto the words..
"I think I'm in love."
For someone like me.
For someone who's hair is odd to their eyes.

A bit long LOL 

Sorry if it doesn't make any sense, or if it's a bit boring. I do tend to go on for a bit when I write poetry, but I did warn you at the beginning that I'm not very good at it.

But what DO you think of it? Should I write poetry more often (I know what the answer will be*!)? What do you think is the STORY that the narrator is trying to tell you? Is there a message she's trying to get across? And what advice would you give to her? I need feedback, people!!


*No with a capital N, right?


  1. That's quite powerful actually...some of the lines don't really flow, I think you need to change some of your breaks, but it's good!

    1. Oh no, that was what I meant to do. Whenever we look at poetry in English, it always has this sort of style, aI wanted to try it out(:

  2. Also: I have nominated you for another award! :)

  3. new follower here :) love the poem, it was fun to read :) i showed it to my friend and she thought it was cute too haha.