I'm A Grade Three Roller Skater!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

SQUEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!! I AM SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Today was my FIRST EVER ROLLER LESSON at Skate School (it's not actually called that, but I'm not going to say its proper name because you can get some seriously creepy people on the internet... ~SAFETY PRECAUTIONIST~) and it was AMAZING!!!!!!

And now I'm going to do a VERY DETAILED ACCOUNT of today's lesson SPECIALLY FOR YOU(:

I arrived at Skate School about ten minutes early, so I had a chat with the instructor. Then, we sat down and he loosened up my skate wheels (I had NO WARNING that he was going to do that, so I was a bit freaked out when he grabbed my feet and plunged a screwdriver into their sockets) so that it would be easier to turn on them.

He said, 'it normally takes ages to take your first grade, but since we have a few minutes, and since you're such a good skater, we'll see if we can get you to pass it now.'

I admit, I was a little taken back (and MEGA-HAPPY that he said I was a good skater(: ). I mean HOW can someone pass Grade One Artistic Roller Skating in ten minutes flat???

So we skated around the rink, talking about skating. Then he tried to teach me the proper way to stop, which consisted of tying your left leg behind your right, and then pulling back so hard you think you're going to go flying. I pulled back and stopped like I was meant to, and, strangely, did not break anything. Then I did it with the other leg, and didn't break anything then either. He told me that I had to learn to fall (though I thought I already understood the concept of falling pretty well already) and he just flew straight into the floor. I leant back, trying to copy the technique, but then let myself go and went crashing down.

'Well done.'


And then he sped off and did an AMAZING triple sachow...

Just imagine it's Roller Skating instead of Ice Skating

I was SO jealous.

Then I had to touch my toes whilst skating, which was pretty easy, and then I had to do the snake pattern, which was fairly OK.

Then, the music stopped on the rink and when into a circular formation, whilst Barry (the Rink Owner/ Main Instructor) called out groups. And then.....

HE PUT ME IN GRADE TWO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


But he put me with the most miserable trainer on EARTH.

In a miserble voice, she moaned at me, 'skate forward on alternative feet stroking from the side of the foot.'


So she had to show me how to stroke on one leg.

After about FIFTY MILLION TRIES, I finally got it. Then, after a few goes on the other leg, I got that too. It was like it just...clicked. Using the 'T' formation (confused yet? LOL), I started practising Singular Leg Holds (I'm a professional already(: ). I understood with the left leg, but with the right leg (not so professional)...

I started screaming my head off, flying backwards. Luckily, there was this little four year old standing still on her skates. I crashed straight into her, and managed to, lucklily, keep my balance. I looked around to find that everyone was staring at me.

'I'm okay.'

They just kept staring, but not at me.

I'd knocked the girl over.

The hauled herself up and looked at me (really intensely) with her big brown eyes.

'Sorry.' I said

She just skated off.

Barry called a ten minute break and, OH, I felt SOOO guilty. She could barely stand up anyway, and I'd knocked her over.

Her mother gave me death glares throughout the rest of the lesson.

Lessons came back on, and I had to do the Little Man position. After about ten minutes of the instructor sighing and groaning, I said, 'can't I just loosen my roller straps?'

She tutted, 'I guess so.'

I did it, and I glided around (or is it 'glid around'?), sitting down quite happily on my stakes.

'Again,' the instructor said.




After the hundrenth time, she finally said....

'You're now with DD.'

I stared at her.

'Grade Three.'


And she SMILED.

Throughout the whole lesson I'd been laughing and smiling, and eventually all that hard work had payed off.

She LIKED me.

'Er, she's over there.'

Or maybe not.

Anyway, DD was an AMAZING instructor. And guess how old she was??



She showed me how to glide backwards. And I did a stationary jump. I did a mobile jump. I did a backwards one-legger. I did the backwards snake pattern.

Then it was over.

And now you are reading a blog written by a GRADE THREE ARTISTIC ROLLER SKATER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


So, to celebrate, here's some clips of the Ice Skating Nationals.... (I would do Roller Skating, but there aren't any. And did you know that roller skating is harder than ice skating? (: )

They make it look so effortless (and they're all so young)!!

Oh, and of course, this....


P.S. Spellchecker still broken, how do I fix it?


  1. Wow seems like a lot of fun! You must be pretty good if you got to grade 3 in one lesson!


    1. Pfft, thanks, but I can't be that good if I almost kill a toddler on my first day!! <3

  2. LOL, it's always awkward when you accidentally almost kill a toddler! When my dog was just a puppy my mum used to bring her to school to collect me (back when she collected me ~sniff~) and one day we were walking alongside this woman with a baby in a buggy. We stopped to wait for the green man and suddenly the dog started to nose this toddler in the face! His arms were strapped down so he could do NOTHING about this whiskery black snout that was MOLESTING him! And none of us noticed until he started crying! FORTUNATELY his mum was the easygoing type and didn't report us to the Dangerous Dogs Act. Lucky escape! :L

    1. Ohmigosh LOL!!! And yes, it is VERY awkward when you seem to be on a death mission... almost as awkward as a donkey!! Did you see what I did there? Did you? Did you?! No? I tried.