how i overcame my fear of flying

For those of y'all who don't know, I'm the worst when it comes to flying. Not because I still have a debilitating fear, but because my main coping mechanism is to ask questions and thoroughly understand everything that is going on around me. This sounds like a great anti-fear technique, but recently, I was sat in an airport departure lounge and was asking about what would happen if the plane got hijacked, and who takes over if the pilot got shot? A woman shaking out of her skin ended up approaching me and begging me to stop nattering about Final Destination-esque scenarios, because she has agonising aviophobia and what I was saying put her on the verge of throwing up. It turns out that there are actually a bunch of ways to deal with a fear of flying, and what may work for some may send others into full panic mode. Regardless, I've mentioned some of the best ways to deal with a fear of flying, and how I personally overcame mine.





Mine began with a dodgy trip to Cyprus, where at the last minute the tour operator changed the route for a refuelling stop in a deeply problematic area of the world with a rickety old plane company I'd never heard of before, and I felt so uneasy about the trip that I ended up at 3am in the deep dark part of the internet reading up on statistics and biased ideas that scared the living shit out of me. Then, of course, there was my trip to Poland where the plane actually dropped out of the sky during a world-class storm. Needless to say, my fear of flying escalated exponentially since then. Considering I want to travel for a living I knew that I had to overcome my phobia, and so I spent a long time working on it so that it would be manageable enough to fly with - and yesterday I booked a spontaneous four-hour flight to Adeje for a week. Now, I actually feel pretty excited about my flight - and here's how I did it;

Negative and positive reinforcements

Like you might spray a cat with water after they scratch up your sofa, there's a bunch of ways you can teach yourself to stop doing and thinking things. One of the best ways of doing this is by wearing an elastic band around your wrist and pinging it every time you think up a negative association to flying, with the jolt of pain both bringing you back to reality and training yourself to stop thinking said thoughts.  And of course, if you want to reward yourself with a shed load of chocolate or some cava, I say go for it.

Establish exactly what it is that scares you

For me, it's a mixture of the fact I have no control over the situation and that if anything goes wrong, one of those scenes from the aeroplane disaster movies will occur. I'm not a fan of the sky carts in London and big wheels in windy conditions for the same reason - I can't stop it if I don't like it. For others, turbulence may be a factor in their fear, or lightning strikes or spilt coffee on the pilot's part. None of these are going to cause you any damage, let alone fatalities, so it's important to establish the exact root of your fears in order to extinguish them. 

Learn about turbulence
Talking about turbulence, if you spend time educating yourself on exactly what it is then you should automatically feel a lot safer. Turbulence is literally just a little pocket of air, pretty much the equivalent of bumps on the road in a car, and even birds have to deal with it. In fact, it's more annoying than dangerous, especially as aeroplanes can cope with an insane amount of stress more than what a measly bout of turbulence emits, and the wings themselves can flex up to ninety percent anyway. Even in the worst possible case, pilots are more concerned with the coffees that will get spilt than the wings dropping off or the plane flipping due to turbulence.

Avoid common misbeliefs about overcoming your fear
Some people suggest drinking, but that will dehydrate you more than you will already be with the change in pressure and make you feel worse when you land. It's also not a good long-term solution. Others suggest taking sleeping pills or distracting yourself with whale song, but neither really fix the problem. You've got to get to the route of your fear and work up from there, and by taking yourself mentally out of the situation you're still going to face the same problem each time you think about flying. Don't get caught up in your aviophobia - after all, it's illogical, and would be much more productive if you were that meticulous about trying to stop your smoking habit or weaning down on red meats.

Say hello to the pilot!

One of the stewards may ask the pilot if you are able to see the cockpit and meet the pilot themselves before you take off if you ask them nicely. Meeting the person controlling the plane and seeing the controls themselves helps minimise the anxiety that comes with the unknown, and should put you more at ease. Also, in regards to the pilots, they go through such rigorous training and invest so much time and effort (and money - it costs like $160,000 just for the official training, not counting anything before or after that) into their careers that they're deeply passionate and educated about the aircraft they fly and will always put your safety first. A lifetime of dedication and preparation means that they're pretty trusted with your life in their hands - and, according to an aeroplane engineer I spoke to, the pilot and co-pilot have to have different meals on the plane should the food make them ill, which should help with minor food fears.

Put yourself in the front seat 
Whilst this isn't how I personally overcame my aviophobia, some people suggest that you could take flying lessons or at least try out a simulator. This will demystify the idea of flying, and help you understand the sheer amount of preparation and planning that goes into making a plane fly.

Change your flight accordingly

Whilst looking at flights, you can read up on the information about which plane you will be on, and can choose a flight with a bigger plane (less turbulence), get a seat at the front (less of a bumpy ride), and pick a more direct route (less take offs and landings). By going through some extra measures, you can make sure that you will feel more comfortable and secure on your trip. Also preplan by arriving at the airport early, booking an aisle seat so that you can't see the 35,000 feet drop to the ground from the window, or get an upgrade by the emergency exit so that you feel less trapped.

Fly first class

Whilst I may still get a small amount of anxiety every now and then when I fly, I know for sure that if someone offered me a first class flight right now I would hop out of my dressing gown and jump straight on the plane. Believe me, it's a lot harder to be frightened sipping champagne and lounging in some crisp white sheets watching a good film.

Work on relaxing
If your shoulders feel tight, give them a rub. Spend time working moisteriser into the fatty part of your palms. Use a plastic fork to scratch that one spot on your back that you can never reach. Massage your scalp and play with your hair. You may look slightly unhinged, but at least it's better than doing a Kristen Wiig in Bridesmaids and standing in the middle of the aisle shouting "There is something they're not telling us!"

Learn how a plane works
The dangers we once had years ago, such as crashing into an incoming plane (the vertical deviation of any plane is less than the height of the tail so that's rendered moot) or an engine exploding, are now pretty much diminished.  I interviewed an aeroplane engineer at Heathrow who told me that both twin engined and aircraft with four engines can both run on just one engine without problem - and even then, aircraft can glide for around 100 miles if the engines fail at 30,000ft, landing safely on ground of floating on water. The very seat you sit in can withstand 16 times the force of gravity, along with being self-extinguishing and fire retardant. One of the biggest facts for me is that for every hour in the air, at least 11 hours had been spent on maintenance of that particular plane prior.  An eight hour flight? Nearly 90 hours of prep. As a fun fact though, every centimetre of slack you have in the seatbelt will propel you six times as far forward if the plane jolts, so make sure you use it properly and keep it tightened.

Prepare yourself, but don't be irrational

Learn everything you can about what to do in an emergency so that that aspect isn't dauntingly scary and you feel more prepared - however, that can be taken a tad too far. For example, a couple of flights ago I was sat there counting and working out how far away the emergency exit was and how to get there with my eyes closed. It irritated the person next to me to no end, and it didn't do me any favours either. I've found that it's best to understand how to react to negative situations, but once you have that information, calm down and take it in your stride. Congrats, you're prepared - but don't obsess.

Realise it's all in your mind

Understand that if you're nervous about flying whilst on the ground, then it's not actually flying that you're focusing on, but more the anxiety that the idea causes. Remind yourself that whilst flying, you are safe and well and going to a lovely country (unless it's to England, in which case, consolations). And then, like the famous step in Alcoholics Anonymous, acceptance is one of the last stages of your recovery from fear. Accept that you can't control the situation and that you're in good hands, and you should start feeling a lot better.

And finally, face your fear!
Just think, flying is actually the safest part of your journey, and the safest mode of transportation by far (cars, trains, boats - none have had as much time and monetary investment as that of the aviation industry to keep it's passengers safe). You're more likely to die on your walk into the plane, as your likeliness of dying in a plane crash is one in 20 million (over ten times better than in the 1960's, as the stats get better every day). And just think, air stewards choose to actually do this as a career!

I hope you guys have found some of these tips helpful, and if so, let me know in the comments below. If not, try a fear of flying course... or a therapist.