Dear Bloglings, my blog may state that I've been postless for a few centuries, but actually my notebook has a different story. I've been working on a load of blog posts and have come up with entries about controversial issues, recipies, hauls, diys, awesome travel vloggers, top tens, a review or two AND how to get a tumblr-esque room. I'm so excited for what's to come!
Oh, and while I was away I discovered that I am hopelessly in love with sushi of the hosomaki kind, so you should expect a few posts featuring...
As I said - hopelessly in love.
Anywhale, have you noticed the sunshine of everpending doom - or 'Summer', as some landwellers tend to call the catastrophe ahead of us - infiltrating our weather system?
I'm a December baby, so I guess it's not really a surprise that I'm an anti-Summer type of person. Even so, here I am ready to share my disgust with all you hot climate lovers (as in you love hot climates, not that you're good looking and also happen to be very interested in the state of the climate). You are oh so very welcome, my dear Bloglings.
#1. Your chocolate melts, which for (vegan, I am proud to say) chocoholics like me, is one of THE WORST THINGS to ever happen, because one second it's there but the next it's sitting in a puddle by your feet. Di-sas-ter.
#2. Exams exams exams exams exams exams exams exams exams.
#3. It's too hot to do anything where effort is needed. Oh so you want to walk the dog? Run around with your friends? Play hopscotch? TOO BAD.
#4. Everyone's all gross and sweaty unless they shower at least twice a day. Seriously. I go to a school with NO SHOWERS - there's a reason I don't stick around with people after gym class.
#5. Sunburns suck, especially when you're ghost-white like me and have an outside class for an hour.
#6. Hot beverages are unacceptable, even, gasp, hot chocolates.
#7. Crowded places = instant sauna.
#8. Cold drinks don't stay cold for long, neither does the ice stay solid.
#9. Hot showers are Representatives of the deepest pits of Hell.
#10. Bugs occupy everything, and a lot of those said bugs bite. But the thing is, you can't close your windows otherwise your whole house steams up and you fry like an overcooked rack of lamb.
#11. People wear clothing so minuscule it makes you question whether a bikini would be more appropriate.
#12. Walking up hills is gruesome, if not a death wish.
#13. Water is needed all the time otherwise you'll just collapse like an unwatered venus fly trap.
#14. Your body sticks to leather furniture, unless of course you're wearing jeans and a long-sleeved shirt (in which case you probably won't survive the heat for much longer).
Except from the blue skies, I really see nothing cool about Summer (SEE WHAT I DID THERE? AHAHAHAHAHA).
#15. Soup is also unacceptable.
#16. You can't wear gloves, even if they're fingerless, as they'll more than likely look ABSOLUTELY RIDICULOUS (I'm looking at you, Lorde).
#17. Dark, heat absorbing clothing cannot ever be worn, even if you're a goth who calls himself, unironically, 'The Lord of Darkness'.
#18. People wear crocs and think it's okay (disclaimer - it really isn't).*
#19. Apparently creepers look, I quote, "weird" when worn with shorts, DESPITE THEM ACTUALLY LOOKING VERY TRENDY AND HIP.
#20. People get very hot and irritated (and irritating).
#21. Notes are sweated off your hands when you write down something you urgently need to remember otherwise your life will reside in ruins. You know the type.
Happy Summer everyone!
*Sorry if you're in the minority of people who do wear crocs. Who knows, you might even manage to pull them off. If so, let me know your secretttt!